vintage, antique, just plain old...and lovely.

Any way you look at it, these are old but lovely.

Over Thanksgiving, we visited Jeff's Grandma and other family.

So, in tribute to "GG" (as Jarrett calls her), here are some things that have seen many days and nights...


VINTAGE.....
Pictures of Jeff's Grandma & Grandpa....  These aren't the best copies, but they are vintage...and I feel privileged that I have this little bit....

Jeff's Grandpa died in an accident when the kids were young....  GG raised 4 kids as a single parent - I can't even imagine it.  But you do what you have to as a parent.

ANTIQUE ....

Why, oh WHY would you want an 80 year old outhouse at the beginning of your driveway?  But they love antiques and that this would be the perfect place for the garbage cans....so a backhoe was used to move this thing.  I didn't even ask if it was empty...I didn't really want to know the answer.

But Jarrett got to "drive" the tractor.  He was excited!

JUST PLAIN OLD....

I don't really want to call GG "just plain old", but that is what Jarrett called her.  Not out of disrespect, but when I told him who we were visiting, his response was, "is she the really old one?".

Out of the mouths of babes....

....AND LOVELY.

When you go on a trip like this it puts things in perspective.

GG sold her house this summer and is now in a retirement facility.  Most of her things are not with her - they are in boxes at her son's house or disbursed to other family.  She has her necessities, her Bible, her kitty, her chair.  She is ok with it all - I think she actually enjoys it more than she thought she would.

When you think about your life and all the "stuff" you think you need - in the end it doesn't really matter.  You can't take it with you.

What matters is the relationships you make, the impact you have on the lives of your family and loved ones, what you did for Jesus.  This is what makes up your legacy.  Not your financial status or things you filled your home with.

I need to learn this again and again I think.  Thanks GG for the life lesson.

with love,
Tammy

when there are changes, who do you trust?

Do you like your feathers ruffled?

I don't.

I'm not big on change....small or big.

How can butterflies do it...change absolutely EVERYTHING about them and do it with such beauty?

I guess they do it to survive..... and as a result they are able to SOAR!

Yes, change seems to be always hanging around...this time for me it was Jarrett's doctor.

We got the letter, she was retiring from private practice.  WHAT?  How could she...didn't she know we needed her?

We really loved our pediatrician.  When I was still pregnant with Jarrett, we interviewed several (I mean lots) of pediatricians.  I had a whole spreadsheet of questions, requirements, etc.  I was overprotective of him...even in the womb.

So now, the process started all over again.  Do I stick with the Doctor who was taking over the practice?  or search out to find a new one?  what about the issues we've been working with?  will a new doctor know what to do?  how to care for him?  love him as much as our last one has?  will he like her?  will he trust her?

When you think about it, it can be stressful.  That is when you have to realize that its all a matter of trust, and WHO you are trusting.

In this process, I found I was putting more trust in the pediatrician instead of the Great Physician.   I know that I have to find the best doctor for us, but my trust in my son's health must remain in Jesus - no one else.   After all, it is God who gives us our very breath.....breath.....breath.... so important to a kid who has struggled with breath over the years.  God gives us our breath, our life, our health.

So while we did find a great new pediatrician whom we both love, our TRUST is in HIM.

I know this is Thanksgiving week, and most blogs are posting on the fun recipes they are making, the things they are thankful for, and other *Holiday* related things.  I'm sure I will soon too.  But to me, I'm THANKFUL for placing my trust back in Jesus.  You see, even though change is all around us...big and little - HE NEVER CHANGES.

... God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

 So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. 

   ... Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever

Hebrews 13:5-8

with love,

Tammy

Special Birthdays, Especially

Jarrett's 4th Birthday - 11-17-11

Birthdays are always special in the heart of kids...well, in the heart of adults too!  For me, November is very special.  Not only is it my birthday, but just 3 days later its the birthday to my son.  Nothing makes me happier than to make that day especially special (yes, I did just say that) for Jarrett.

This year was no exception.

Especially Special #1:  (this one is for me)

His last sleep of being 3

Especially Special #2:

Opening 1 gift before school (its so hard to open JUST ONE!)

Especially Special #3:

School on your birthday - mommy helping in class, your snack day, the kids singing to you, you are the line leader - birthdays are really special at school!

Especially Special #4:

Lunch with momma at McDonalds - I'm not sure if I should even admit this, but we realized that for EVERY birthday, we've done lunch at McDonalds.....

Especially Special #5:

Games at Chuck E Cheese  (gotta love the insane-ness of this place - thank goodness we just went for games and not dinner first!)

Especially Special #6:

Licking the frosting from your own birthday cake.  (yes, the frosting is from a can - please don't judge me!)

Especially Special #7:

The joy on my son's face when he opens the rest of his presents.  He gets almost shy and excited at the same time.... even a little embarrassed that the day is about him.  I also love that he loves to play with the same types of toys that his daddy did when he was a boy (Star Wars never gets old) - very nostalgic and heart warming.

Especially Special #8:

Telling him he can make a wish when we blows out the candle...I really want to know what he wished for.

Happy Birthday my Especially Special Big 4 Year Old!  You make the world a better place with everything you are......and, I love you higher than the moon......and back!

with love,

Tammy

Happy Birthday to Me - AND 5 NEW PUPPIES!

Today is my birthday...and I got the amazing opportunity to participate in the birthing of my friend's dog to her first litter of pups!  It was one of the most surreal things I have ever done.   It really leaves me speechless to think about how God designed the entire birthing process.  Every detail is not by chance; why the momma does each step is all part of God's perfect plan to give life.

This was a first for me as well as "Stella" (momma pup).  I must say, I was proud of her - she did an amazing job.  I was also proud of me (for not being completely grossed out).

We crammed our way into the bathroom where the birthing center was set up.  As you can see in the Polaroid, I was in the tub.  I was there, camera in hand, ready to do whatever I could to help.   There was so much to do and yet really so much that was just up to nature.  Even though I did very little and just asked a lot of questions and took a lot of pictures...I really felt like a Doggie Douala.  We did everything we could to help her and sometimes I wonder how animals do it on their own, without us.  The afternoon included:

• massaging the momma
• cheering her on and encouraging her to push
• times of worry or anxiousness - asking if its been too long between pups?  is she ok?
• times when we had to help keep the puppies from being stepped on or keep them warm, 
• there were umbilical cords to cut, 
• sacs to remove, 
• general "clean-up" 

I'll be honest, just like in childbirth, there are some really gross moments.  However, there were times when all you could do was stare at the tiny baby puppies and say, "aahhhh".

I mean really...look at this face!  Isn't he just adorable?!?

We laughed, we joked, and we loved.  Loved the puppies.  Loved the momma.  Just loved.  Dawn loved the tiny little girl - we named her Truffles.

So, "well done" momma Stella.  You have 5 new baby puppies to take care.  And I have one amazing experience that I got to celebrate on my birthday. 

After it was all said and done, Stella got to relax with her puppies.  Good Job Momma! 

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday Baby Puppies

Happy Birthday to You!

with love,
Tammy

Baby Its Cold Outside

BRRRRRRR......

It's cold outside this morning.


....and as is typical, I woke up early - on a holiday - where I could have slept in (at least until I heard the morning cry, "Mom..... MMMMOOOOOOMMMM!  I'm UP!!!!").





but I didn't...I woke up early to a chilly morning....

It's only fall, but today it seems like winter.  The frost on the roof tops, the fog hanging along the hills....its just plain nippy!


and its beautiful....

I just love how the sun peaks its rosy self out through the fog...


its almost misty

and...

it makes me want coffee....

a full cup...to sip on and enjoy in this quiet early morning when everyone is still sleeping.

but there is a problem....

Our incredible stove top barista makes only 1 large mug of coffee - we usually split it and each have a small cup.  My husband always gets the coffee ready the night before so in the morning, all we have to do is turn on the stove.  If I drink all that I want, then when he wakes up, he'll be without.

Honestly, the thought does come to me that maybe he won't notice or really want any this morning and I should just have it all.  (I know that is selfish, but I'm just being honest).  

I just can't do it.  Over and over all week God has been reminding me of this verse:

One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.  - Luke 16:10

And I have to ask myself...

am I being faithful with the coffee?  

with honoring my husband?

if I can't be trusted with coffee....what can I be trusted with?

I know that in the whole scheme of life...its just coffee.  But in the whole scheme of how God looks at my life, its a heart condition.  That is what God looks at after all - the heart.  Sometimes I wish He wouldn't, because my heart wants to be selfish.  

I want the coffee all for myself.

I want my day off for me...to do my things....at my pace....for me.  

My day off is really not for me but for me to bless my family in ways that I can't when I have to work.  So, while I can take a moment or two for myself, I really need to bless them.

So, how does this end you ask?

I do take the whole cup of coffee, but I make a new pot just for him.

faithful.....


with love,
Tammy

When I'm Not, He IS

Pike Place 2011

I was reading some blogs this morning....and I read this....and it touched me.  I really love reading Casey Wiegand - she has become a kind of inspiration to me in blogging.  You can read from Casey  more here.  

"If you haven't already gathered, or happen to be reading this blog for the first time in your life, I am a melancholy girl through and through. I find beauty in not only the beautiful things in life, but the bittersweet and sad as well. To me, there is something poignantly lovely about the human experience from its splendor to its grief. God created all our emotions, not just the happy ones, and for His good purposes. That's why a good cry can feel so good. And hitting our limits forces us to look outside ourselves for a Savior. It is in the plea, when we're at our end, that we can find that which is truly life-giving. Personally, my moments of deepest grief, deepest pain, have resulted in the most beautiful seasons in my heart. I've met God more intimately in those moments than in all the other pleasant ones combined. What isn't completely lovely about that?"

I completely identify with this.  The melancholy, the finding beauty is ashes.....and most importantly, all of it pointing to the need of a Savior.  

How amazing is that...that when you hit your limit....you have no choice but to look outside of yourself for a Savior.  After all, it seems like Psalm after Psalm, David is doing this....crying out to his Savior.

What is your Psalm?  Are you waiting to hit your limit before you look outside of yourself for a  Savior?

So why the pic of the boys in my life with this post?  (on a side note...did you notice the guy with the umbrella?  only in Seattle would you have an umbrella OPEN inside)

They remind me of why I need a Savior every day.  

When I hit my limit at being a wife........ I need Jesus

When I get frustrated with the lack of naps and snotty noses...I need Jesus

When I'm at the wits end with dishes in the sink.....I need Jesus

When I don't know how to answer all of the questions....I need Jesus

When my agenda is replaced with his.....I need Jesus

When my feelings get hurt.....I need Jesus

When my attitude is getting bad.....I need Jesus

When life throws me a curve ball...I need Jesus

When I don't have enough....I need Jesus.

When I'm not...God is "I AM".

And, as she says..."What isn't completely lovely about that?"!

with love,

Tammy

the last of the 30's

In less than a week, I will be 39.

yes...I said it,

39!

And all I can think of is, "OMG!"


For me, (be prepared....I feel a little pity party coming on), this is a bit depressing.  Kinda like when I turned 25 and realized I had to be an adult.

at 39, this is my last year in my 30's.  That means only 1 year left to accomplish everything I had hoped to do in my 30s - yet have not been able to accomplish in the first 9 years.

getting to my goal weight

writing a book

getting out of debt

having kids

running for fun

taking an art class

being involved in a community charity

have ALL of my filing done

I really am not one to not be thankful for what I do have....but right now I am a bit sad....depressed....disappointed....(tear).

ok...pity party is over!  (that babble was really pathetic, wasn't it?)

I think of this verse:

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.  Phil 3:12

So I haven't hit my goal weight....I'm still working on it...I press toward it to make it my own....

So I havent written a book....but I've started my blog.....

I'm not out of debt....YET!  

Kids..."no"...KID...."YES!"  (And an amazing one at that!)

Running for fun...(who are we kidding...is there really such thing as a 'fun run'?)

Taking an art class (yes...still want to...just need to sign up!)

Being involved in a community charity...(I'm very involved at my church and we support the community....but I need to personally get involved in something....it all starts on Nov 18th at the Red Cross Gala....we'll see what happens)

having all of my filing done...."not that I have already obtained this.....I PRESS ON TO MAKE IT MY OWN".....keep on keeping on......


I may not be driving my dream car, in my dream size of jeans, with my dream bling on my finger, to my dream vacation home.....but I am living the dream.

I have an amazing family that loves me
I have a great job that works with my family
I have an incredible church
and.....

39 years old.....

is better than the alternative.....

life doesn't end in your 30s....

it just begins!

It's up to me to determine how the next 39 years will play out....


with love,
Tammy

ITS TIME TO HERO UP!

Some pictures from Jarrett's 4th Superhero Birthday party.

8 Little Superheros!  Its party time!

The Epic Battle!  The Superhero's Mission:  To rescue the animals from the Bad Guys hideout

Super Lunch & Cupcakes

The Pinata (a birthday just isn't complete without one)

Thanks to all of the Superheros, bad guys, and super moms and dads for making Jarrett's party so much fun!

with love,

Tammy

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on turning 4

This week is busy busy with activities.  Halloween festivities.....working, teaching, and preparing for Jarrett's 4th birthday party.  As I design and cut things out, I can't help but think to myself, "How can he be almost 4?"  Then tears well up in my eyes and that lump gets in my throat.

4.

Four years of heart-melting moments.....

the first time I saw his little face...
when he grabbed my little finger for the first time....
swaddling him as my baby burrito...
placing his tiny hand on my face....
the smell of his hair after bath time....
the first time he got his groove on to music....
the countless, "I love you's"....
the giggles.....
the stories...
asking, "how's your day, Momma?"...
kisses....
hugs....
"I wanna hold you"....
"momma's kisses are too important!"....
the video "auntie" sent me of him asking Jesus into his heart.....
the smiles....
the bed time "make me a story"....
the flirty eyes when he wants something.....and sometimes when he doesn't.....

.....this little boy has my heart.

I still call him my baby....he corrects me that he is a "big boy"....

but he will always be my baby.  my love.  my son.

with love,
Tammy