Tuesday, February 14, 2012

For Jeff....

sometimes I don't always tell you how much I love you

how must I value you

how important you are

how you still take my breath away

how I adore how much you love our son

how you inspire me to be better

how I'm proud of the man you are

how I look for your approval - because it matters

how I love being your wife.

I love you.  Happy Valentines Day Baby!

with love,

Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy Valentines Day.....

Isn't it kind of ironic that we have a national holiday to tell us when we are supposed to express love?  If we truly love someone, wouldn't we do that everyday?

Unfortunately, I'm afraid we don't always do that...at least not everyday.

So today, from my heart to yours, "I Love You!"

Some people have asked me why I blog or how I started.  How do I know what to talk about?  Do I worry if anyone is even reading it?  Was I afraid to put myself out there?

The answer is yes.  When I first started, it was private, just for me.  A place I could write down some thoughts, maybe remember something sweet throughout the day.

Then it got to be a place where I could keep the random everyday life that sometimes we tend to forget.  I wanted the memories.  After all, I will never get to have the moment of my sons first bath again.  The smell of sweet innocent newborn skin.  Or his first time smiles.  Or his first, "I love you, Momma".    So for me, to go back and remember that is priceless.

But somewhere along the way, I realized that being a wife and mommy can change you.  Sometimes for the good and sometimes the worst creeps out of me.  So my life, as it was and is, very real, is my story.  And I want to remember it.
Remember the times I succeed.  And fail.  And grow.

Remembering is good for the soul.

Sometimes I come across an old picture....

....like this one of Jeff and his brother.

Even though I wasn't there, it makes me feel like I was.

How sweet for a little boy to be taking his brother for a ride.  Feeling all "big boy" inside.

I know Jarrett has those moments...when he feels "big boy" and proud of himself just to get immediately shy then looks down with that half smile on his face.  Seeing this makes me a little sad he doesn't have a brother or sister close in age where they could grow up together and he could have those moments of big brother just like his daddy did.    So to answer your question, "yes" it is scary sometimes when I blog.  Because even writing this now - its out there.  No taking it back.  But its real and its my story.

Isn't that how life is sometimes?  a little scary.  a little sad.

But I have come to realize that those moments in life, as difficult as they may be sometimes, can bring joy to all the other moments.  After all, it makes you appreciate everything and everyone you do have.
Sometimes through the pain, you see things in perspective.  You can see what's really important.  You can find joy in little things.  And the little things can become invaluable.

And sometimes the little things are really big things.

Like when its your first.

To me it was just a cup of cocoa on a blustery, snowy day.

To my son, it was his FIRST.

And there were marshmallows.

And that little memory, is with me always.

The shy look down with the half smile.  Just like daddy did when he was a boy.  It melts my heart.
Capturing that, to me, is Valentines Day every time.

And this, is my love story - ongoing....written when inspired....about the people who I love the very most.

Happy Valentines Day!

with love,

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

These Boots are made for Walking....

It's the Season of Love......and while I'm sure you're expecting a great little ditty on the love between man and wife or momma and son.....that will have to wait.

After all, we are talking about shoes here people!

I LOVE these new boots that a good friend of mine just bought for herself.

Yes, she bought them - not a gift - not an occasion.  Just pure "lust of the flesh and the pride of life" type of buy myself some good-looking, traffic stopping boots!

This is not normal for my friend.  Kids and husband always come first.  But tonight, it was her turn!  In her own words,

"Most people think cowgirl boots are for rodeo's, riding and mucking out stalls.  However, cowgirl boots have evolved into a boot with so much more to offer today's woman!  They are a fashion friendly boot that offers comfort, style and durability.  They come in every color, fabric and are weather proof.  I love my boots because I can wear them to work around town, camping, the rodeo and if I do choose to ride.....All in all I love the fact I found a stylish boot, was able to support a local business...and more than anything silenced the critics of what a stereotypical cowgirl looks like."

It's true, she is not your stereotypical cowgirl.  I love that she wears them with her blinged out jeans - not wranglers.  And her handbag is Kate Spade - not Brighton.

So while I may not personally be sporting a new pair of Justins, I do want to sport this "love it so much I'm going big or going home" attitude.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone loved big?  I mean BIG?!?

What is love anyway?

it suffers long
it is kind
does not envy
does not parade itself
is not puffed up
does not behave rudely
does not seek its own
thinks no evil
rejoices in the truth
bears all things
believes all things
hopes all things
endures all things
(adapted from 1 Corinthians 13)

So maybe this is the little "ditty" you've been waiting for....you know...love toward your husband or kids.

How many times do I fail at this kind of love that the Bible teaches me.  I envy my husband for having more freedom to do things when I can't because I have to look after our son.  Or I behave rudely when my feelings get hurt.  Or I seek my own instead..... Or I stop believing....stop hoping...stop enduring.

When I can walk in THIS right kind of love, my marriage is better, my family is better, my job is better....my world is better.  LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Those are some big shoes to fill....

...better go get me some boots!

with love,