Thursday, January 7, 2010

I think I want to be Nice!

Day 4 of my fast and I have discovered a "niceness" in me that I thought was long gone. I woke up with a different love for my husband. A softer answer lies within me. I think the stress monster is dying! I want to be nice. I want to be gentle. Not only want to but am surprising myself at how I'm reacting.

Then, today at work my mom sends me a text with Jarrett talking. He is practing his words and is saying, "more please Mom". Wonderful! Music to my ears, (considering he is behind on his language). But then to top things off, I get yet another. "I Love Mommy!" Tears. Rivers of tears at my desk and even now as I write this it is blurred by the love I have for my son. Hearing those words are amazing. Especially at work, where I just want to leave and run back to him. I can't wait for the day where I can be full-time mommy. Who knew that would be my greatest goal, but it is. Until then....stress monster gone. Nice working mom here.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Daniel Fast, Days 2 & 3

The Daniel Fast, Days 2 & 3. The challenge for me has been not the food, but the time and energy to prepare it. Don't get me wrong, I love cooking, but figuring out what to cook, to have enough left overs for the next days lunch and yet provide a balanced meal for my little guy...the time to do that I could be praying. But I think once I get a system down, things will mellow out. Thank you Stacy for the idea of smoothies. I forgot how much I love them. Its amazing how much a bananna will fill you up when blended together with other fruit. This has been my breakfast savior!

Beside the food, already God is dealing with me on things that need to be stripped down from my life. For one, the way I handle stress and pressure lately is awful. It's hard to believe that the stress monster within me still lives...I hate it. So by Day 2, 1 ugliness revealed....not sure I want to see how much more there is. But the end result will be good. I love what Pastor Ryan said from Prov 3 that the reward will be wisdom, understand and how priceless it is for our life. It will be priceless to have that stress monster good ridenance! Off with the old and on with the new!

Monday, January 4, 2010

The Daniel Fast

Fasting. Some people love it and some hate it. I'm not sure what category I'm in yet but after 21 days we will see. Today is Day 1 of our 21 day Daniel Fast and while I'm enthusiastic about what God is going to do, the hunger has just now hit and I have nothing prepared to munch on. Maybe that is why it is called fasting...not so much that I have limited foods to choose from but that I have to sacrifice myself in order to see what God wants.

Pastor gave us some scriptures last night and I am looking forward to being able to sit down after Jarrett is asleep tonight and study a little. I definitely have some very high personal expectations that I want break through in but I want to jot those down and be specific so when I pray it is specific. Myself, my family; every part of me needs breakthrough it seems like. So besides the food, I have also decided to fast stress. I can feel it come on me so quickly and immediately I go to a place that just makes it worse. So, I have to fast stress. That might mean telling people no from time to time. That is ok.

So for now...Day 1, The Daniel Fast...let's get the party started!