Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy Valentines Day.....

Isn't it kind of ironic that we have a national holiday to tell us when we are supposed to express love?  If we truly love someone, wouldn't we do that everyday?

Unfortunately, I'm afraid we don't always do that...at least not everyday.

So today, from my heart to yours, "I Love You!"

Some people have asked me why I blog or how I started.  How do I know what to talk about?  Do I worry if anyone is even reading it?  Was I afraid to put myself out there?

The answer is yes.  When I first started, it was private, just for me.  A place I could write down some thoughts, maybe remember something sweet throughout the day.

Then it got to be a place where I could keep the random everyday life that sometimes we tend to forget.  I wanted the memories.  After all, I will never get to have the moment of my sons first bath again.  The smell of sweet innocent newborn skin.  Or his first time smiles.  Or his first, "I love you, Momma".    So for me, to go back and remember that is priceless.

But somewhere along the way, I realized that being a wife and mommy can change you.  Sometimes for the good and sometimes the worst creeps out of me.  So my life, as it was and is, very real, is my story.  And I want to remember it.
Remember the times I succeed.  And fail.  And grow.

Remembering is good for the soul.

Sometimes I come across an old picture....

....like this one of Jeff and his brother.

Even though I wasn't there, it makes me feel like I was.

How sweet for a little boy to be taking his brother for a ride.  Feeling all "big boy" inside.

I know Jarrett has those moments...when he feels "big boy" and proud of himself just to get immediately shy then looks down with that half smile on his face.  Seeing this makes me a little sad he doesn't have a brother or sister close in age where they could grow up together and he could have those moments of big brother just like his daddy did.    So to answer your question, "yes" it is scary sometimes when I blog.  Because even writing this now - its out there.  No taking it back.  But its real and its my story.

Isn't that how life is sometimes?  a little scary.  a little sad.

But I have come to realize that those moments in life, as difficult as they may be sometimes, can bring joy to all the other moments.  After all, it makes you appreciate everything and everyone you do have.
Sometimes through the pain, you see things in perspective.  You can see what's really important.  You can find joy in little things.  And the little things can become invaluable.

And sometimes the little things are really big things.

Like when its your first.

To me it was just a cup of cocoa on a blustery, snowy day.



To my son, it was his FIRST.




And there were marshmallows.


And that little memory, is with me always.


The shy look down with the half smile.  Just like daddy did when he was a boy.  It melts my heart.
Capturing that, to me, is Valentines Day every time.

And this, is my love story - ongoing....written when inspired....about the people who I love the very most.

Happy Valentines Day!

with love,
Tammy 




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