Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Getting schooled

Tonight I got a lesson in forgiveness from my son. No, this is not what you are probably thinking - a sweet little boy forgiving me for my lack of mommy-ness.

Rather about NOT forgiving.

Yes my son got in trouble.

We had the usual mommy/son talk about why this behavior was not good and how it hurts us and God's heart when we disobey. Then we got to the part where we ask for forgiveness and that is when the waterworks started.

"I'm not crying mommy because of ....(his act do disobedience), I'm crying because ..... "  And he begins to list all these things that happened over the last few days. He got hit at school with a toy. His Nanny wouldn't let him do something. He didn't get to play long enough. Never wanting to ask for forgiveness himself. His own hurt outweighed anything else.

Finally after minutes of crying, and me rubbing his back helping him get some control, he just falls asleep.

Now for the lesson:

What I realized is that many times I'm just like this. God is trying to show me where I sinned and instead of simply repenting and asking for forgiveness I bring up all my own hurts. Can't God see me crying? Can't he see how much it hurt me for all these things to happen?

But God tells us this:

In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. (Matthew 6:14 MSG) 

What is keeping me from asking for forgiveness is the own unforgiveness in my own heart.  When I don't truly forgive, all the things from the past come up and get in the way of what God is trying to do now in the present.  Ouch! This mommy just got schooled.

Sometimes in these instances, after much crying myself, I just fall asleep too.  Maybe those are the times when God is just rubbing my back, knowing that the life lesson is massaging deep into my soul.   Then peace - sleep.

Yes, Jarrett learned about forgiveness tonight, but so did I.  Now, time for bed :)

with love,


  1. This is lovely Tammy.
    And so true.
    Love from,

  2. Reading this made me teary eyed and I wanted to start crying. This is so true. I started thinking of different times when God was talking to me about forgiving someone and I would starting crying and talking to Him about all my hurts and wrongs that had happened to me. I was going through the very same thing Jarrett was going through and just like Jarrett I would fall right to sleep after crying. God does know our hurts, our pains, all the wrongs that have happened to us however forgiving the people we feel have hurt us is greater then anything else because our heart will be healed through that forgiveness.


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